6/10/2006

World Wide Wank

Synonyms for Masturbation

For women:

  • Applying lip gloss
  • Basting the tuna
  • Brushing the beaver
  • Burying the knuckle
  • Butterin' the muffin
  • Checking my oil
  • Checking the foxhole
  • Checking the status of the I/O port
  • Circling the knoll
  • Cleaning my fur coat
  • Cleaning your fingers
  • Creamin' the pie
  • Digging for my keys
  • Digitating
  • Doing my nails
  • Doing something for my chapped lips
  • Doing the Two Finger Slot Rumba
  • Drinking from the fountain of youth (for uѕ contortionists)
  • Drooling
  • Dusting the endtable
  • Entering the ring of fire
  • Fare un ditolino (Italian: to do a little finger)
  • Finger blasting
  • Finger fuck
  • Finger pie
  • Flicking the bean
  • Flossing the cat
  • Frigging
  • Getting a stain out of my carpet
  • Going Mining
  • Gusset typing
  • Hula-hooping
  • Itching the ditch
  • JocelynEldering
  • Killing off
  • Licking my lips (for uѕ contortionists)
  • Looking for Waldo & his dog (gee, spot, there you are!)
  • Makin' waves for the man-in-the-boat
  • Making soup
  • Nulling the void
  • Paddling the pink canoe
  • Parting the red sea
  • Petting Snoopy
  • Playing solitare
  • Playing The Silent Trombone
  • Playing the beaver
  • Pokin' the pucker
  • Polishing the wedding ring
  • Preheating the oven
  • Producing whore moans (hormones, get it? ;^)
  • Pussy poking
  • Riding the waterslide
  • Rolling the dough
  • Rubbin' the nubbin
  • Scratching the patch
  • Secret vice
  • Shooting hoops
  • Shooting the rapids
  • Slapping the Mackerel
  • Snatching
  • Soaking in Palmolive
  • Spelunking
  • Stiffening my upper lip
  • Stirring it up
  • Stoking the furnace
  • Strumming the banjo
  • Surfin' the channel
  • Taking a dip
  • The two fingered tango
  • Tickling the taco
  • Toggling the bit
  • Unclogging the drain
  • Visiting Niagra Falls
  • Visiting your safety deposit box
  • Whipping your nest
  • Working in the garden

for Men:

  • A big date with Rosy Palms
  • Adjusting your set
  • Applying the hand brake
  • Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
  • Auditioning the finger puppets
  • Auditioning your hand puppet
  • Backstroke roulette
  • Bashing the Bishop
  • Bashing the candle
  • Beating off
  • Beating the balogna
  • Beating the bed flute
  • Beating the Bishop
  • Beating the dummy
  • Beating the old man
  • Beating the pud
  • Beating the stick
  • Beating your meat
  • Beef-stroke-it-off
  • Being a virtuoso of the skin flute
  • Being your own best friend
  • Biffing off
  • Bleed the weed
  • Blowing the load
  • Blowing your own horn
  • Bludgeoning the beefsteak
  • Bobbing your boloney
  • Bopping Richard
  • Bopping the bishop
  • Bopping the bolgney
  • Bopping the Bonzo
  • Boxing the bald champ
  • Boxing the clown
  • Boxing the jesuit and getting cockroaches
  • Boxing with Richard
  • Buffin' the bishop
  • Buffing the banana
  • Buffing the rifle
  • Buggering your hand
  • Burping the baby
  • Burping the worm
  • Buttering the corn
  • Caning the vandal
  • Capturing the bishop
  • Charming the snake
  • Checking for testicular cancer
  • Cheesing off
  • Choking Kojak
  • Choking the bald guy until he pukes
  • Choking the chicken
  • Choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come
  • Churning your butter
  • Clamping the pipe
  • Cleaning your rifle
  • Clearing the snorkel
  • Climbin the tree
  • Climbing Mount Baldy
  • Clobbering the Kleenex
  • Closet Frisbee
  • Clubbing the clam
  • Coating Prince William Sound with love oil
  • Coming into your own
  • Coming to grips with yourself
  • Cooking the cream of cock
  • Corralling the tadpoles
  • Couch hockey for one
  • Cranking the love pump
  • Cranking the monkey
  • Cranking the shank
  • Crimping the wire
  • Crowning the king
  • Cuddlin' the Kielbasa
  • Cuffing the carrot
  • Dancing with Johnnie One-Eye
  • Dating Michigan (think geography)
  • Dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters
  • Decongesting the weasel
  • Defrosting the fridge
  • Diddling
  • Digging for change
  • Digitally oscillating one's penis
  • Doin' The Solitary Rhumba
  • Doing a hand job
  • Doing battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
  • Doing handiwork
  • Doing It Your Way
  • Doing the five-knuckle shuffle
  • Doing the human version of AUTOEXEC.BAT
  • Doing the janitor thing
  • Doing the knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump
  • Doing the pork sword jiggle
  • Doing the White Knuckler
  • Doing your own thing
  • Downing at the club (for members only)
  • Draining the monster
  • Draining the poisons from the building
  • Driving the skin bus
  • Dry humping the ottoman
  • Dundering the devil-dolphin
  • Electing the president
  • Engaging in safe sex
  • Escorting the one-eyed postal worker out of its denim cell
  • Faxing Jimmy Dean
  • Faxing the Pope
  • Feeding the ducks
  • Firing the flesh musket
  • Firing the Surgeon General
  • Fishing for zipper trout
  • Fisting your mister
  • Five-finger solo
  • Five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pump
  • Five on one
  • Flick on over the thumb
  • Flapping Takkie (South African)
  • Flaying the Emperor
  • Flicking the bic
  • Flipping the Bishop
  • Flogging the bishop
  • Flogging the dog
  • Flogging the dolphin
  • Flogging the dong
  • Flogging the frog
  • Flogging the hog
  • Flogging the log
  • Flogging the mule
  • Flogging the salami
  • Flogging your dumber brother
  • Flute solo
  • Fly fishing
  • Fondling the fig
  • Freeing Willy
  • Friggit
  • Frosting the pastries
  • Galloping the antelope
  • Galloping the old lizard
  • Genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion
  • Getting a date with Slick Mittens
  • Getting a grip on things
  • Getting a stiffy
  • Getting chafed
  • Getting off
  • Getting the German soldier marching
  • Getting the glue stick
  • Getting to know yourself
  • Getting your palm read by Mister Softee
  • Getting your palm red
  • Getting your pole varnished
  • Giving it a tug
  • Giving yourself a low five
  • Glazing the donut
  • Gluing the lady's eye's shut
  • Going a couple of rounds with ol' josh
  • Going blind
  • Going on a date with Handrea and Palmela
  • Going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters
  • Going on Peewee's little adventure
  • Going the blow
  • Grappling the gorilla
  • Greasing the pipe
  • Gripping the pencil
  • Hacking the hog
  • Han Solo
  • Hand job
  • Hand Shandy
  • Handy work
  • Hanging the old man
  • Hard labor
  • Having a ball
  • Having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake
  • Having a date with Fisty Palmer
  • Having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
  • Having a ham shank
  • Having a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming slang)
  • Having a one-night-stand with yourself
  • Having a Sherman (British)
  • Having a tug
  • Having a tug-of-war with the cyclops
  • Having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
  • Having dinner
  • Having it off
  • Having sex with someone you love
  • Hitchhiking to heaven
  • Hitchhiking underneath the big top
  • Holding my own
  • Holding the sausage hostage
  • Honing the cone
  • Hugging the hog
  • Humping the hose
  • Ironing some wrinkles
  • Jack hammering
  • Jacking off
  • Jazzing yourself
  • Jerkin' the gherkin
  • Jerking Jamby
  • Jerking off
  • Jerking the turkey
  • Jerking yanking daisy-chaining
  • Jizzlobbing
  • Juggling the coullions
  • Just jerkin' it
  • Kicking seamen
  • Kicking your roommate out for five to ten minutes to "call your parents"
  • Killing it
  • Kneading my knockwurst.
  • Knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump
  • Knuckling the bone
  • La veuve poignet (French)
  • Launching the hand shuttle
  • Looking for ticks
  • Loping the mule
  • Loves labors lost
  • Loving the muppet
  • Lubing the Tube
  • Making a foreskin cone
  • Making friends with Big Ed
  • Making instant pudding
  • Making the bald man puke
  • Making the scene with the magazine
  • Making vanilla jism shakes
  • Making yourself at home
  • Mangling the midget
  • Manipulating the mango
  • Manning the cockpit
  • Manual labor
  • Manual override
  • Master bacon
  • Meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters
  • Meeting Rosie Hancock
  • Meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
  • Milking one's self
  • Milking the bull
  • Milking the cow
  • Milking the lizard
  • Milking the moose
  • Milking the weasel
  • Minding my own business
  • Molesting the mole
  • Mounting a corporal and four
  • Much goo about nothing
  • My sex life!
  • Nerking your throbber
  • Oiling the glove
  • Onan's Olympics
  • Onanism
  • One gun salute
  • One man show
  • One off the wrist
  • Packing your palm
  • Paddling the pickle
  • Painting the ceiling
  • Painting the pickle
  • Painting the walls
  • Palming the calm
  • Peelin' some chiles
  • Peeling the banana
  • Peeling the carrot
  • Performing a self-test
  • Performing diagnostics on your ManTool
  • Perling the oyster
  • Petting the lizard
  • Phoning the czar
  • Pipping the pumpkin
  • Playing a little five-on-one
  • Playing a one-stringed guitar
  • Playing in a one-man show
  • Playing Peek-A-Boo With Mr. Johnson
  • Playing peekaboo
  • Playing pocket pinball
  • Playing pocket pool
  • Playing tag with the pink torpedo
  • Playing the flesh flute
  • Playing the one-stringed melody
  • Playing the skin flute
  • Playing tug-o-war with the cyclops
  • Playing Uno
  • Playing with the spitting llama
  • Playing with your turtle (for uncircumcised guys?)
  • Pleasing your pisser
  • Plunking your twanger
  • Pocket pinball
  • Pocket pool
  • Pole vaulting
  • Polishing Percy in your palm
  • Polishing the beak
  • Polishing the family jewels
  • Polishing the helmet
  • Polishing the rocket
  • Polishing the sword
  • Popping a nut
  • Popping the cork
  • Pounding off
  • Pounding the bald-headed moose
  • Pounding the pud
  • Pounding your flounder
  • Preparing the carrot
  • Priming the pump
  • Pud wrestling
  • Pulling off
  • Pulling rank
  • Pulling the bologna pony
  • Pulling the carrot
  • Pulling the Colonel Sanders Heimleich Manuever
  • Pulling the cord
  • Pulling the five-knuckle shuffle
  • Pulling the goalie
  • Pulling the handbrake
  • Pulling the pole
  • Pulling the Pope
  • Pulling the weed
  • Pulling the wire
  • Pulling your goalie
  • Pulling your own leg
  • Pulling your prick
  • Pulling your pud
  • Pulling your taffy
  • Pummeling the priest
  • Pumping cream
  • Pumping the electric goo gun
  • Pumping the gas at the self-service island
  • Pumping the python
  • Pumping the stump
  • Punchin' the munchkin
  • Punching the clown
  • Punching the munchin
  • Punishing Percy in the palm
  • Punishing the Pope
  • Qualifying in the testicular time trial
  • Raising the mainsail
  • Ramming the ham
  • Rapid one arm pull-ups
  • Reading poetry
  • Relieving tension
  • Riding the great white knuckler
  • Rolling your own
  • Romancing the bone
  • Romeo and Himself
  • Roping the pony
  • Roping the Pope
  • Roughing up the suspect
  • Rubbing off
  • Rubbing one out
  • Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel
  • Rubbing the pink eraser
  • Rubbing the rod
  • Running off a batch by hand
  • Running the cheeta
  • Sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights
  • Safest sex
  • Sanding wood
  • Saying a private prayer in the Church of the First Holy Monkey
  • Schnauzer Shuffleboard
  • Scouring the tower of power
  • Scraping your horn
  • Scratchin the itch
  • Se branler (French)
  • Se crosser (French)
  • Se faire les cinq doigts de la main (French)
  • Se passer un poignet (French)
  • Secret handshake
  • Self abuse
  • Self-induced penile regurgitation
  • Self-inflicted intercourse
  • Sex with someone you really love
  • Shagging
  • Shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln
  • Shaking hands with Jack McNasty
  • Shaking hands with Mr. Happy
  • Shaking Hands with Mr. President
  • Shaking hands with the general
  • Shaking hands with the midget
  • Shaking hands with the unemployed
  • Shaking hands with the wife's best friend
  • Shaking hands with your John Thomas
  • Shaking hands with your wife's best friend
  • Shaking hands with Yul Brenner
  • Shaking the bottle
  • Shaking the dice
  • Shaking the hand of the self-employed
  • Shaking the sauce
  • Shaking the sausage
  • Shaking the snake
  • Shanking
  • Shellacking the shellaleigh
  • Shemping the hog
  • Shifting gears
  • Shining the helmet
  • Shining the pork sword
  • Shining your pole
  • Shoot skeet (pull...shoot)
  • Shooting flies
  • Shooting for the moon
  • Shooting putty at the moon
  • Shooting tadpoles at the moon (from the movie "Totally Fucked Up")
  • Shooting your wad
  • Shuck The Corn
  • Shucking your corn
  • Slaking the bacon
  • Slamming the ham
  • Slamming the hammer
  • Slamming the salami
  • Slamming the salmon
  • Slamming the spam
  • Slapping the big-nosed Rasta man
  • Slappin the purple headed yogurt pistol
  • Slapping high fives with Yul Brynner
  • Slapping it
  • Slapping pappy
  • Slapping the carrot
  • Slapping the clown
  • Slapping the donkey
  • Slapping the FleshGopher
  • Slapping the pud
  • Slapping the salami
  • Slinging the jelly
  • Smacking the oompa loompa
  • Smacking the salami
  • Smacking the weasel
  • Smacking-off
  • Snapping one off
  • Snapping the carrot
  • Snapping the monkey
  • Snapping the rubber
  • Snapping the whip
  • Solo flight
  • Solo marathon
  • Solo sex
  • Spanking Cheetah
  • Spanking Elvis
  • Spanking Frank
  • Spanking the bishop
  • Spanking the monkey
  • Spanking the salami
  • Spanking the wank
  • Spit-polishing the purple helmet
  • Spunking
  • Squeezing the cheese
  • Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
  • Squeezing the juice
  • Squeezing the lemon
  • Squeezing the weasel
  • Squeezing your cheese-dog
  • Stinky pinky
  • Stirring the batter
  • Stirring the yogurt
  • Strainin' the main vein
  • Strangling the Serpent
  • Striking the pink match
  • Stroking it
  • Stroking off
  • Stroking the dog
  • Stroking the lizard
  • Stroking the mole
  • Stroking the one-eyed burping gecko
  • Stroking the satin-headed serpent
  • Stroking the squirmin' German
  • Stroking the wiener
  • Stroking your poker
  • Stroking your twinkie
  • Taking a nap
  • Taking a shake break
  • Taking Herman to the circus
  • Taking matters into your own hands
  • Taking ol' one eye through the fly
  • Taking part in population control
  • Taking some time off
  • Taking the Jocelyn Elders Midterm
  • Taking the monster for a one-armed ride
  • Talking quietly to yourself
  • Taming the shrew
  • Taunting the one-eyed weasel
  • Teasing the weasel
  • Teasing the weenie
  • Tenderizing the meat
  • Tenderizing the tube steak
  • Testicular tensile strength test
  • Testing the testicles
  • Testing your batteries
  • That crazy hand jive
  • The art of Unisex
  • The Colonel Sanders Heimleich Maneuver
  • The five knuckle shuffle on the old piss pipe
  • The serta solo
  • Thrapping
  • Throwing
  • Throwing one
  • Thumping the pump
  • Ticklewigglejigglepickle
  • Tickling my fancy
  • Tickling the ivory
  • Tickling the one-eyed weasel
  • Tickling the pickle
  • Tonking
  • Torkin' the fork
  • Torturing the tentacle
  • Tossing off
  • Tossing the salad
  • Tossing the snag
  • Tossing the turkey
  • Tossing yogurt
  • Treating yourself right
  • Trouser snake CPR
  • Tugging the slug
  • Tugging the tapioca tube
  • Tuning my horn
  • Turning Japanese
  • Twanging the wire
  • Tweaking your twinkie
  • Twisting your crank
  • Twisting your tool
  • Unloadinging the gun
  • Using the Force on Darth Vader
  • Varnishing the flagpole
  • Violating the hedge-hog
  • Visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters
  • Wacking off
  • Wacking the one-eyed worm
  • Wacking the weasel
  • Wacking the willie
  • Waking the dead
  • Waking Wee Willie Wonka
  • Walking the dog
  • Walking the plank
  • Walking the snake
  • Waltzing with Willy
  • Wanking
  • Wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel
  • Washing the meat
  • Waving the Magic Wand
  • Waxing the car
  • Waxing the carrot
  • Waxing the dolphin
  • Waxing your surfboard
  • Whackin the weasel
  • Whacking it
  • Whacking off
  • Whacking Willy
  • Whipping off
  • Whipping the bishop
  • Whipping the dummy
  • Whipping the one-eyed trouser snake
  • Whipping the rat
  • Whipping the stiff
  • Whipping the wire
  • Whipping up some sour cream
  • Whipping willy the one-eyed wonder-worm
  • Whipping your dripper
  • White-water wristing
  • Whittling the stick
  • Whizzing jism
  • Windsurfing on Mount Baldy
  • Wonking your conker
  • Wonking your donk
  • Workin' out a stiff joint
  • Working off
  • Working off a batch
  • Wrestling the eel
  • Wrestling the one-eyed monster
  • Wrestling the purple headed warrior
  • Wrestling with the bald champ
  • Wringing out your rope
  • Wrist aerobics
  • Yanking off
  • Yanking the crank
  • Yanking the yoyo
  • Yanking your plank
Click here to send uѕ other synonyms. Go to the World Wide Wank Stuck-Together Web Pages.

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